Monday, June 26

have you felt like this before?
like nothing seems to go right,
and your world was suddenly falling apart?
have you ever felt like you were so lost out of sudden,
like you dont fit into the world at all?
have you ever felt like you could just give up on life,
and do whatever you want to do?
have you ever hated so much that you just want to break down?
will you feel like screaming at the walls around you?
cos' you cant seem to get it all right?
its a feeling i just can't describe.

everytime i tell myself its alright,
i think im telling myself a lie.
cos' when another time comes again, its still the same.

i have been lying to myself all the while.
its not going to be alright.
not this time.

another phase marks a new beggining.so is my beginning going to be a dull one?
its just so unfair.
and i really hate it.
are all those just lies?
what is effort?
what is hard work?
it doesnt exist in my dictionary anymore.

im not trying to make the world sound so dark.
but i just cant find the switch in my life.
im always living in the dark trying to find the switch.
no matter how hard i find, no matter how hard i try, i still can't find it.
and there is like a jeering crowd with you and another crowd trying to encourage you.
problem is its hard to encourage. easy to bring someone down.
i proved myself wrong already.
its really hard to influence my own thinking.
reality has made the thinking sink in.
anyway i will try to be happy.
its the most i can do for the cheering crowd.


& there she goes,
SMILING AGAIN* ;
8:52 PM

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abby
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